Have you ever heard anyone say something totally innocent, but with an unintended meaning to you, and only you? Worse still, did it make you laugh so much you thought you were going to explode, but could not tell the other person why? Perhaps you even had to leave the room because if the other person noticed you laughing, you would have to explain it. These occasions are all the more awkward if there is something sexual behind the meaning. I have a couple of examples of this and heres the first:
My brother Brian went away to boarding school at the age of 12 as my parents were about to spend 2 years abroad; I was only 4 at the time so went with them. Now our family always talk about boarding school, whereas in fact it was an ordinary school, which he attended during the day, but actually lived at a hostel with about a dozen other lads. The old guy running the place retired a few months after he arrived to be replaced by a younger man with two daughters, the elder of which, Brenda, was about 6 months younger than Brian. To cut a long story short, they have now been married for over 40 years.
Now Brenda had a sister, Ellie, 8 years younger; in other words about my age. I used to see her when we went to collect and drop off Brian for holidays, but at that age you dont notice girls do you? Then B. and B. lost touch for a few years. Next thing we knew they were engaged. Shortly before they married I saw Ellie again. She was now 15 and bloody HOT!
Naturally I fancied her like there was no tomorrow but she was way out of my league, I pursued her for the next couple of years but she was having none of it, and later married and moved abroad.
Fast forward to a year or two ago. Myself, my mother, Brian and Brenda were talking about washing of all things, and Brenda told a story about Ellies younger son. When he was a kid, and Ellie would ask him to peg the washing out on the line, he always wore rubber gloves.
Why?
So that he wouldnt have to touch his mothers knickers.
And of course all I could think about was the time when I would happily have given everything I possessed to get hold of those knickers. And had to leave the room.
My next story is much better than that one, but before I post it Id like to hear a few of yours.
My brother Brian went away to boarding school at the age of 12 as my parents were about to spend 2 years abroad; I was only 4 at the time so went with them. Now our family always talk about boarding school, whereas in fact it was an ordinary school, which he attended during the day, but actually lived at a hostel with about a dozen other lads. The old guy running the place retired a few months after he arrived to be replaced by a younger man with two daughters, the elder of which, Brenda, was about 6 months younger than Brian. To cut a long story short, they have now been married for over 40 years.
Now Brenda had a sister, Ellie, 8 years younger; in other words about my age. I used to see her when we went to collect and drop off Brian for holidays, but at that age you dont notice girls do you? Then B. and B. lost touch for a few years. Next thing we knew they were engaged. Shortly before they married I saw Ellie again. She was now 15 and bloody HOT!
Naturally I fancied her like there was no tomorrow but she was way out of my league, I pursued her for the next couple of years but she was having none of it, and later married and moved abroad.
Fast forward to a year or two ago. Myself, my mother, Brian and Brenda were talking about washing of all things, and Brenda told a story about Ellies younger son. When he was a kid, and Ellie would ask him to peg the washing out on the line, he always wore rubber gloves.
Why?
So that he wouldnt have to touch his mothers knickers.
And of course all I could think about was the time when I would happily have given everything I possessed to get hold of those knickers. And had to leave the room.
My next story is much better than that one, but before I post it Id like to hear a few of yours.